Thursday, November 11, 2010

Peace from The Brat, and Fighting City Hall

The brat -- otherwise known as this 'sweet' little kitten, has gone to the vet to be spayed and I won't pick her up again until after work tomorrow.  I've been looking forward to this day and a chance to relax.  I felt sad to be leaving her for some reason -- and while it's nice to be able to eat in peace, for example, it feels strange, too.  Turns out that she's still a tad less than 5 pounds, and that if she's under 6 pounds they have to put a heart monitor on her, which isn't covered by the Spay Georgia certificate I got, so there's going to be another $20 and maybe another $45, if she's in heat.  That seems to be the refrain of my life lately -- another $40 here and there, what's the big deal?  The big deal is that I don't have a lot of extra $40 to spend and while the income is limited, the demands certainly are not.

She really needs a new home.  I've tried to be patient with her hoping she'd grow out of it, but I think her craziness is more than typical kitten craziness, and she has a serious anger management problem.  If I'm typing at the keyboard, for example, and gently move her aside when she wants to walk across the keyboard, she'll get mad and attack my hand -- teeth and claws and not being playful.  Other times she'll stalk around growling, waiting for her opportunity to retaliate (i.e, attacking with teeth and claws) and she'll retaliate several times for any given 'offense' by me.  She's sweet when she's sleeping, but that's it.  So, somehow or other I need to find her a home, now that I've spent $$ with shots and spaying.  It saddens me, but I really need the peace and I need to not have the stress this little critter brings into my life.

I'm struggling -- feeling very fragile emotionally -- and every financial or emotional setback or stress brings me closer to spilling over into.....whatever.  I always said that I'd know I was crazy if I found myself running naked down Main Street, and I'm not quite ready for that, but I don't like this place I'm in, and I have to do whatever I can to make life more stable for myself.  I've lived on the edge -- financially and emotionally -- for my entire adult life and at this stage of the game, that delicate balance is more delicate than ever.

A large part of all this is a noise issue in the neighborhood that I've been struggling with the city to solve for months now.  There's a church a block away, housed in an old corrugated metal furniture store that obviously has no sound insulation.  They hold services every night and all day Saturday and Sunday and blast out rock music into the surrounding area.  All I can hear/feel is the bass thump, which is something that's always driven me crazy, but when it's day after day, hour after hour, it literally about drives me mad.  I want to (and sometimes do) scream and cry, but there is no escape other than leaving home.  This morning I met with our new City Manager who struck me as a reasonable person and promised me he'd make every effort to get this solved for me.  We both know that the biggest issue is that it's a church -- in this city and county that are very deeply in the Bible belt and feel strongly about the right to worship.  We both also agreed that the issue is not a right to worship, but that they are breaking the law.  He's going to have to work carefully around this issue and I understand that and more importantly, feel that he has the political savvy to do so.  He's also been fighting a similar problem in the community he served in recently, so he's no stranger to the problem.  I sure hope he finds a solution -- because at the moment, and for a long time now, I'm sorry I ever bought this house and sorry I ever moved back here, because of that church and the noise that inundates my already fragile emotional system.

It's not yet noon and I'm already drained.  Think the rest of the day will be for rest.

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