In case any of you out there were worried after my last post, I am still among the living. It's been a few rough days, though none as bad as the first day. There are even some moments of feeling pretty darned good, so I can work with that. Underlying all of it is a deep sense of despondency, though, and I don't seem willing to try and do anything about that. Meditation is the only answer, I think, and I've been meditating again for a few days, or a week. Skipped the last couple of days, but felt the need to get back on the cushion again this morning. My back still hurts so I have to be very careful how I get down there, but once there, all is comfortable. And calming. And peaceful.
And really, it may just be an unexpected resurgence of the old 'holiday blues' that have snuck up on me around this time of year for decades. Just because I haven't seen them for a couple of years doesn't mean they are gone forever. If that's the case, then they will disappear right after Christmas like snow in July.
Like everything else in life, this will pass. It may get better, it may
get worse, but it'll change soon enough and I will continue to adapt as
those changes happen. What other choice is there, really?
A work in progress
4 months ago