I tweaked my lower back this morning, moving two big planters full of dirt. I dead-lifted the first one up about 2 feet from the ground, but couldn't heave the second one so I was pulling it up one step at a time -- until the last one! A stabbing pain spasmed through the back. I left the planter where it was and went inside. My landlady hefted it up that final step for me a bit later. The good news, I guess, is that I can still walk and move, albeit carefully. I try to remember to suck in the belly when I do anything, to support the back and take the pressure off those unhappy muscles.
Now -- a little fertilizer and a few plants, and I'll be in the winter garden business. That is, if I can still walk by tomorrow. I'm keeping a positive mind.
It's been an interesting, but overall good, week. I'd been fighting off a bout of depression for awhile -- but not getting wrapped up in it, clinging, which would have made it worse. Once you identify with something like that, accept it as 'mine', suffering deepens. I've been doing a few things to offset it, but I suddenly woke up a morning or two ago and felt much better, for no reason I can determine. I'd changed how I took some supplements the previous evening, and don't know if that did the trick or not.
I've also been meditating again -- another possible reason for the depression leaving -- and am going back to my old, tried and true concentration meditation. There's a Buddha quote that says something like "make an island unto yourself, make that island your refuge, for there is no other refuge". That came to mind a couple of days ago as I sat, and I saw so clearly how much of a refuge I found concentration to be. It'll take awhile to retrain my mind to be less scattered -- and that's made even more of a challenge by a general lack of focus in recent years. But, I know I can do it. It just takes practice and determination.
And -- I've decided that I really have to trade the double bed for a twin, so I can get a chair to sit inside and read, relax, for the winter. It's fine at the moment -- the chair is on the deck and that's great, since we've had such a warm and mellow summer. I actually prefer being out there. But, that won't be the case once cooler weather sets in. So -- more changes to come.
A work in progress
5 months ago