Saturday, July 28, 2012

Plan B?

While I was making almond butter a few days ago my food processor developed a death rattle. It didn't stop running, but I've used a lot of food processors in my day, and I've never heard a motor rattle like this, so it's only a matter of time. I'd really prefer not to have the thing blow up or catch fire while I'm using it.

I'm trying not to buy anything right now -- partly as an anti-greed measure, partly because I don't know where life is going to take me next year and the less stuff I have to carry in the car, the better I'll be. But, I've already decided that wherever I go my good kitchen stuff will go with me -- knives, big mixer, some of the other appliances and yes, the food processor. Wherever I go I'll need to eat, and that'll entail cooking. So, I went ahead and ordered one on-line from Macy's. It was on sale for a pretty good price (although with the way Macy's does their pricing, one never really knows how good the price really is), and I should have it in a week or so.

It's a nicer machine than the one that died, which hopefully means that it'll last longer than the 7 years of light labor this one lasted. It was the bottom-of-the-line Cuisinart but I really thought it'd last longer. I really do like my fresh almond butter, and pesto, and a few other things that a basic blender just doesn't do well. The new one isn't quite bottom-of-the-line and has a 5-year motor warranty, which should be plenty for me.

My garden turned into an overgrown mess during the two-plus weeks I was gone. I guess that's what happens in hot weather with good rainfall. I did a little cutting back and pulling up yesterday, but there's plenty more to be done. I just don't have the energy I should have to do these things. Or much of anything else. Not all of it is physical -- there are plenty of unpleasant mind-states that are present. For the most part, I'm quite successful at ignoring them, with the knowledge that they are impermanent.

Which leads me in a roundabout way back to a proposed life at the hermitage, which was the purpose of this recent visit. The sense of community and shared goals was wonderful. The place is beautiful and peaceful. I certainly connected with the people who reside there. But my body really didn't like it. When I first met with Ayya S. last March, one of the first questions she asked me was if I'm tough enough to live there. I thought I was. A year or two ago I would have been. I don't know what's happened, but I've definitely seen the changes in my strength and stamina just since last summer. Were my problems there due to the issue of the leg surgery? Some of them, certainly. At this age, three weeks without serious usage of any muscle can lead the way to uselessness and atrophy. The sudden usage of that muscle in such a strong way didn't sit well with any part of the leg -- seemed to affect other muscles in the calf, plus the knee, thigh and even the hip. By the time I left most of the difficulties seem to have worked themselves out, but if I'm going to be honest (and I am), I have to admit that I didn't thrive there, physically. So, it's back to plan B (whatever that is) when it comes to next year.

Fortunately, I have plenty of time to work out what plan B might be. I would love to return to Northern California, but it's a pricey place to live and that might not be possible. If that gets tossed off the table, I'm going to be in the same position I was in three years ago in Oregon -- needing to move, but no clear idea of where to go. I have to leave this house, and I'd sure like to be out of tornado alley, which lets out the rest of this area. After experiencing the hermitage, I know I'd certainly like to be near a good Buddhist community where there are people with shared ideas and goals and where I actually feel as if I fit in. Where might that be?


  1. Its hell never getting the old wanderlust out of the system. I get the urge now and then but for me, I think the grass only 'looks' greener. Oh, I think if I had the funds I might hop a high end small cruise ship now and then and calm my desires, but alas in the end I am just grateful for what I have and the good times I once had. Imelda keeps playing the lotto and that's OK 'cause ya can't win if ya don't play.

    1. I don't know if it's wanderlust or not. I really can't afford to live in this house on my social security, and once the roof starts to leak, and that could be any time, I have to move out. Then, it's only a question of where to go. Would I want to move if it wasn't necessary? I'm not so sure. I'm tired of moving. Just trying to find a good place to land -- and hope I did better than the last time. I have it narrowed down at the moment to two places. Lots of time to think on it.