Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Sweet sunset

Now, this is what it's all about, folks! We drove into Santa Rosa on Sunday and as we headed home from Bodega, the sun was putting on quite a show. Ayya suggested we stop for a minute -- a great way to relax after a long day.

I'm actually in Santa Rosa again at the moment. Ayya had to come in for some ceremonies today and tomorrow at the new Vihara, and while I was offered a very nice private room, I opted for a motel, so I can do anything I want to do at any given moment without worrying about proper protocol.  I have no clue what I'm supposed to do at the Vihara much of the time, and it's too easy to do the wrong thing simply from that ignorance. Besides that, I've been really, really, tired -- no chance to recover from that loooooog day of travel before jumping right in and driving in to do loads of laundry (not alone -- Ayya always helps and does more than her share), then take over the daily cooking and kitchen cleanup chores. In short, I'm pooped! Shortly after the above photo was taken, after we passed Jenner but hadn't reached our road, I felt that old, familiar feeling of 'hitting the wall', which is a term I first learned way back in 1983 while I was training for my Colorado bike ride. What it means is that the body literally runs out of energy to continue. I recognized what was happening, told Ayya, but assured her I was ok to get us home. It was dicey on our narrow, twisty, bumpy road, but while I may have been a bit loopy, no harm came to anything.

Still -- I'm pooped. And since I made such a big fuss about needing to have the oil changed in the truck, that was part of my day -- I had to wait 3 hours (2 promised), and didn't get to my motel until almost 6:30. And I was supposed to have a restful afternoon! So yes, I'm still pooped. Fortunately, I've been able to mostly be aware of all the mental fussing I've been doing based around the body fatigue, and was mostly able to let go of it, at least for that moment. And once I wind down, I'll be hitting the sheets. And I can stay here all morning if I wish -- will pick her up around noon for the return trip home.

It's a hard life, no doubt about it. But if I continue to work through the issues I'm still sure I can and want to make this work. I will not give up this time. The rewards are so wonderful. The forest heals. The sunshine heals. That beautiful ocean and beaches and sunsets heal. It all offsets the difficulty. I think.

No comments:

Post a Comment