I've been struggling lately with questions about why one particular situation keeps being put before me, over and over and always -- always -- with the same results. In a spiritual sense, I am enormously grateful for each of these occurrences as valuable learning opportunities. Without question, I've learned a great deal and grown immeasurably as this situation has continued to arise, and each time it arises I am pleased with my spiritual progression, the way I am more able to put all I've learned through Buddhism into practice and thereby make the situation less stressful, less troubling. Each time has become easier. So much so that after the last occurrence I felt certain I had learned all I needed to learn and that this particular situation would arise no more. I was wrong.
This is not a situation I go looking for, or that I place myself into -- quite the contrary. It comes to me from another source and arose again recently, quite unexpectedly. Again, I am really pleased this time with my internal reactions. I have put my training to use and remained relatively equanimous and have let go of the outcome. But I haven't 100% let go of the situation. I've never been able to let go 100% of the situation, but until this recent appearance, I was happily and contentedly at about 95%, and confident that time would take care of the balance. I never expected to have the situation before me again, but here it is.
So. The questions I've been asking are, why? Why does this continue to be placed in my path? What have I not learned that I am supposed to learn from this? There has to be something unfinished, or the situation simply would not arise. Until today, I had no answers.
In this morning's mail was my semi-annual newsletter from Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Marin County, California. Inside that was an excerpt from a new book by Jack Kornfield, founder of Spirit Rock. It's a full page excerpt and as I began to read I was at first confused by the term 'Rest in Consciousness". What does that mean, Jack? Of course, as I read on he answered that question, in detail, until I could understand it and understand that here was the answer to my questions, the lesson I have been meant to learn from my present situation.
One of the most basic tenets of Buddhism is that everything changes. The goal, simply put, is to watch these changes occur without reacting in fear or craving. Hard for us simple humans to do. It's also hard to encapsulate all I learned today and all that is in this excerpt into a few words on this page, but I think these quotes from the excerpt perhaps explain it best in the fewest words:
"To rest in consciousness is the opposite of contraction and fear. When we rest in consciousness we become unafraid of the changing conditions of life." He goes on to say that we can simply notice the two distinct dimensions to our life: the ever-changing flow of experiences, and that which knows the experiences. And finally, he says:
"When we learn to rest in awareness there's both caring and a silence. There is listening for what's the next thing to do and awareness of all that's happening, a big space and a connected feeling of love. When there is enough space, our whole being can both apprehend the situation and be at ease. We see the dance of life, we dance beautifully, yet we're not caught in it. In any situation, we can open up, relax, and return to the sky-like nature of consciousness."
Today, I have learned to rest in consciousness, if only for short moments. But I know that short moments lead to longer moments which in turn lead to totality. Thank you, for this lesson. And thank you for placing the situation before me so that I could learn. I'm still not at that wonderful 100% level, but I understand the lesson and know how to reach that point.
I also ordered the book, which is entitled The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Philosophy.
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