Happy Valentine's Day!

While I still embrace the notion of Valentine's Day, I find that the weeks preceding this date tend to be depressing. All this media coverage and advertising make me want to hide out until it's all over -- until I am no longer bombarded with reminders of the fact that I don't have a valentine in my life and haven't had for a really long time. I'm fine with this fact the rest of the year -- but this time of year, I certainly notice the difference in my mood. OK -- no more whining.

I am once more caught up in a tizzy of 'what do I do' with retirement. There is some kind of deep fear associated with actually buying this house -- probably because I really won't have enough income to live without finding another source of income, as in that nasty four-letter-word work. But again, what are the options? I'm always brought back to the fact that an apartment would cost about the same on a monthly basis, for far less room and far fewer amenities. Far less work to keep up, too! But, as long as I remain healthy, I will enjoy the yardwork, the gardening, and the house.

I suppose part of all this indecision is simply that there are no decisions to be made at the moment. Until the contractor comes back with a cost estimate next week, there is nothing to be decided. I, of course, obsess over all the potential decisions and details, ad nauseum. Today is a day when I'd like to have a car so I could drive all over town -- Sears, Home Depot, Best Buy -- and narrow down appliances. If those become part of the mortgage, which I will try to avoid, I'll need to be able to get pre-bills from a vendor to present to the bank. Hard to do that from Oregon, but I'll find a way if need be. Maybe I'll take the bus and at least hit Sears and Best Buy, which are all in one area of town. I've done lots of research on-line, and am really disappointed in the ratings and customer remarks on pretty much any appliance I look at. It's enough to make me wonder how to make a choice, based on my limited resources. I've about decided to go for an Energy Star refrigerator, since it runs all the time, and opt for a regular washer, since I don't do a lot of laundry.

Guess that's about it for today -- my head is still a little foggy from the sinus pressure that plagued me all week. I promise more interesting reading in the future!